Tag: self-identity

Posted in Random Thoughts

Why my poor eyesight is a blessing

Posted on by Rachel

I’ve always loved connecting with people, listening to them and looking them in the eye.

It’s been said that, “The eyes are the windows to the soul.” I believe this to be true.

If you truly stare at someone’s eyes, you will see how they feel about you. Is it judgment, kindness, love? You will know.

I usually look people in the eye without hesitation, but now I can’t do that very much because I can’t see clearly without my glasses.

And it’s been a tremendous blessing. Why, you might ask.

It’s because when I’m walking at the streets or inside the mall, what used to be a sea of eyes are now only a blurry image.

I can’t see when people look at me.

I can’t see their eyes.

I don’t have to worry because I won’t know when someone’s looking at me with disgust (unless they come very close).

I think you should know that I like to look at people but I don’t want to be seen.

If I could, I would waste my days away by hiding.

I wish I could be invisible then I wouldn’t have to be shy. I won’t have to worry about how I look or if my clothes are okay, if I’m acceptable, if I’m enough.

Being nearsighted has its perks.

I enjoy my days more often because I wouldn’t notice if I am seen.

My self-esteem has been dropping low every minute and I wonder what I can do about it.

Posted in Random Thoughts

A sentimental yearning to return to the past.

Posted on by Rachel

Nostalgia.

A wave of nostalgia hits me like a waterfall, gently but with a force strong enough to awaken my emotions.

It is so extreme that I get to the point of wishing a time machine exists. As you’ve noticed from my previous two posts, they are about childhood memories.

My brain keeps swimming back to the past. Revisiting old monuments in my mind and opening doors that long ago I have closed.

Whether it’s a defense mechanism because of all the pain I’ve been harboring these past few months or my heart wanting to leap out and have an adventure, I am uncertain.

What will I do about this?

I thought.

Why repress it when it wants to be felt?

Why ignore it when it longs to be heard?

So I have figured out to plunge in and revisit my past.

I am planning to re-watch movies I used to love when I was a kiddo, eat at the places my parents used to take me, and reexplore the places we used to go to, etc.

I’d love to document them and share my reflections here but I wonder if this feeling of nostalgia will last.

Posted in Challenge, The Artist's Way

Week 2 : Recovering A Sense of Identity

Posted on by Rachel

Objective : 

(1) Address self-definition as a major component of creative recovery.

(2) Move into your personal identity, a self-defined you.

Favorite quotes:

To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast-you also miss the scenery of where you are going and why.

Eddie Cantor

Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music-the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.

Henry Miller

Verse of the week:

For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:10

Lessons Learned:

Self-doubts are symptoms of recovery.

When we give ourselves permission to recover that’s when the doubts will hit you like a ton of bricks. They will sprout like beans poking every corner of your brain ’til you get exhausted in dealing with them. But! This is not the time to give up! This is the time to fight back with affirmations.

Learn to identity crazy-makers (toxic people).

In the path to self-recovery we need to identify our toxic habits, perspectives, and most importantly the toxic people in our lives. Toxic people drain your energy.

“The capacity of delight is the gift of paying attention.”

One of the most important lessons I have learned this week is the gift of paying attention. And for everyday of this week I kept reminding myself to pay attention especially to nature. There is so much beauty in the world that when we truly open our hearts and eyes, we will know that we will be okay. Even in this moment right now, we are okay.

**I really loved this chapter, it’s beautifully written and emotionally evoking.

Grab a copy here.