Tag: reflection

Posted in Earth Psalms Reflection

Week Two: Prayer Leads to Peace

Posted on by Rachel

This week was all about cultivating a sense of peace by trusting that God will care for us.

The author compared our “worries” to an annoying woodpecker she encountered in her home. This spiked up my interest as to why these birds love to peck on wood. Here’s a video clip I found:

What worries are keeping you from God’s peace?

Lately, I’ve been worrying about my status in life. I also worry about my time each day. I want to make each moment worthwhile. I also want to earn money through my online shops but motivation is so hard to find these days.

I guess my worry is mainly about how I’m going to make it in this world.

The two challenges this week is to (1) spend time outside or look outside the window and observe how God cares for nature (2) repeat Philippians 4:6-7 when worry comes through.

I wasn’t able to spend a lot of time outside this week because I’ve been caring for my 10 month old niece, Emma. However, on a cloudy day, I saw birds flying around the sky while it was drizzling. It made me think of what happens to the birds when it rains. Here’s a short explanation:

Where do Birds go When it Rains?

This Friday, my sense of peace was shaken when Emma’s bottle of milk was spilled all over her parent’s bed. I had to move fast to dry up everything, while my niece was crying for attention.

I was about to burst and blame myself for not checking her bottle, but then I remembered to stay calm and be at peace. I asked God for help. And quickly managed the time I had, to clean Emma, change her clothes and wash them, dry up the bed and change the bedsheets. All under one hour.

It was a challenging task but one I enjoyed because I chose to have peace and stay calm.

All throughout the week, I would repeat Philippians 4:6-7 to myself whenever worries come crashing in.

I wish I can tell you it stopped all my worries, but it didn’t. They’re still here like a woodpecker pecking on the corners of my mind. But this week, I gained hope knowing that God can give us peace.

I like this quote mentioned in the book:

Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.

Erma Bombeck

I guess it is a matter of choice. Will we choose to spend our time worrying? Or will we choose to be present in the moment and make the most of what we have?

One thing I failed to do this week, is to pray about everything that’s inside my heart and mind. Definitely something I will work on in the coming days.

Playlist for Earth Psalms:

Posted in Books - Reflections, Reviews and Thoughts

Hattie Big Sky

Posted on by Rachel

*Spoiler Alert! This post may contain spoilers!*

After inheriting her uncle’s homesteading claim in Montana, 16-year-old orphan Hattie Brooks travels from Iowa in 1917 to make a home for herself and encounters some unexpected problems related to the war being fought in Europe.

Goodreads.com

I seldom write book reviews because I don’t know how. I’ll just share what I think.

The book is well-written and thoroughly researched. I’ve read in the back pages that the author spent 3 years in research for the book. I love how the characters are well-rounded and realistic. I also appreciate how the author included even the tiny details of Hattie’s day as to give the full picture of what life was like in 1917.

While reading this book, I couldn’t help but wish I was there with Hattie. When I was young, I’ve always had this longing to live and experience life in a homestead. I want to wake up before the sun rises, feel the breeze on my cheeks, milk the cows, feed the chickens, ride horses and watch the stars at night.

Through this book, I realized that living in a homestead is not an easy task but one that requires hard work. I loved Hattie’s unique adventures throughout the book.

One significant part of the story is Hattie realizing that a home doesn’t necessarily mean a place to stay, but the people you surround yourself with. She gained a family by making friends with Perilee and Karl and their children, Leafie, Jim, and others.

I think Hattie is strong and determined for her willingness to make a living for herself.

How to explain to these two children the longing in my heart for what they had? To be part of a family. To have a place to call home.

We’d both signed on for something we’d envisioned as heroic and glamorous. The heroism and glamour might be there somewhere, but you had to dig and scrape and scrabble through the dirt, pain, and misery to find it. Assuming you could find it.

“My mama always said piecing quilts is like making friends.” She kept her eyes on the scissors as she cut up a piece of blue ticking. “Sometimes the more different fabrics—and people—are,” she said, “the stronger the pattern.”

Additional Resources

Music playlist for the book:

Moodboard:

https://pin.it/5FTPOkJ

Posted in Rachel's Journal 🌼

Sunday Thoughts & Blues

Posted on by Rachel

Before the pandemic started, every Sunday morning, as a family we would go out for breakfast, then have groceries after. Our favorite places to dine were Bluejay Coffee & Co., Bo’s Coffee and occasionally, Coffee Project.

This Sunday, we got to have the same routine except for the presence of my Dad who chose to stay at home because he can’t stand wearing a mask.

The ambiance in Coffee Project oozes with aesthetics and privilege? I mean most people who enter have the stance and confidence of rich people. I usually feel uncomfortable but I just try to focus on the pleasing interior.

The food and drinks here are good but a bit expensive.

I ordered a Caramel Latte.

For breakfast, I ordered Chicken Parmigiana with Hot Pepper Rice which I forgot to take a picture of.

While waiting for our orders to arrive, I glanced around to see that almost everyone was looking down on their phones. It got me thinking, “what was it like for people before, who didn’t have such technology? what did they do in a coffee shop while waiting for their drinks to arrive?”

I thought that maybe they talked a lot or if they were alone, brought a book with them to entertain themselves or maybe they just sat and think or observe.

I didn’t want to use my phone and in front of me about 5 feet away, a boy about 12 years old was sitting down with earphones on and so I did the same since my mom and brother were not in the mood for talking. And I reflected upon the book I read last night.

I remember how last year I would sit in those same spots and worry about the upcoming Monday were I had to face survival in an office setting. Now, I’m so grateful I can breathe easily without the anxiety of work brooding around.

After our fancy and expensive breakfast, (😢😅) we went to a family friend for some errands to make. It’s so weird to think we seldom see the people close to us anymore.

After our fast adventure, we headed to the grocery store, S&R. I only took one photo and an unflattering one as well.

I was caught up in talking to my brother as well as looking for something to buy. I got some few essentials.

It was a normal day but I just wanted to share what life was like today. The weather is cool and cloudy, the cars are few, and the day is peaceful.

I’m so glad that amidst the pandemic, we still get to have good days.

While sometimes, I feel like it’s safe to go out, I know it isn’t. Our enemy, the virus is still roaming around and we need to practice caution and care.

My heart goes out to all the families who have lost loved ones in this pandemic. Truly, you’ll never know what it feels like `til it happens to you. While life must go on, I hope we can all be sensitive, learn to take precautions, and keep in mind those who are fighting this virus and the frontliners risking their lives to help.

Stay safe!

Posted in Earth Psalms Reflection

Week One: Faithfulness Day and Night

Posted on by Rachel

This week was all about pondering and reflecting on God’s faithfulness.

A little story: for months, I’ve been deconstructing my faith passively aggresively. For now, I think I’m slowly getting back on track with my relationship with God.

I’m using Francine River’s book, Earth Psalms, as a devotional which I hope will encourage and inspire me in my faith.

To be honest, being in this journey is such a hard process; one that I feel can easily crumble down. Knowing that the religion I used to practice is a false one has definitely shaken me to the core.

This week’s topic will be a soothing relief to my soul as it talks about God’s mercies and protection.

Here are some of my reflections and updates throughout the week:

©Gracelaced co.

What does it mean that God’s mercies are new, or fresh, every day?

For me, it means that God gives us a brand new, clean slate to start all over again each day. When we ask forgiveness, He forgets about our sins and encourages us to move forward.

I struggle a lot with reminiscing past mistakes and regrets so this wonderful truth of God’s mercy & steadfast love is like a soothing balm to my heart.

Yesterday’s mistakes don’t carry over.

How can remembering God’s faithful presence and protection give you peace as you go about your daily activities?

To have in mind God’s faithful presence and protection, gives me peace that no matter what the day brings, God is greater and He is in control.

I don’t go out much these days, I’m usually at home. It does make me feel safe but sometimes challenges come along as well. Remembering God is faithful and will protect me, gives me courage.

Sometimes I realize I’ve been protected from a harm such as almost falling off the stairs, or almost slipping through the bathroom floor, and other common accidents that can happen inside the house. And who knows what God’s protection has done for my parents.

This week was one of the coldest so far this month. Sunrises and sunsets were not visually seen, except for a few. Here are some photos I took.

January 12, 2021
First hint of sunlight of the week.
January 12, 2021
First sunset seen for the week.
January 15, 2021
I was awakened by God’s grace to see this beautiful sunrise. It was funny to think I woke up just to look at it and fell right back to sleep again.

Personal thoughts and reflection:

This week has brought me so much peace. I love how I’m taking this faith journey, slowly and without pressure. It has given me a lot of time to meditate and think about God. Every morning, I reflect on select Bible verses rather than reading chapters and not retaining anything. I also listen to this playlist I made based on the book, every morning.

You can follow it here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1x3o0V2I4gviD9QmB2QOSk?si=5Gv5vHnIRWeHlVAI7AbSPQ

It will be updated every week.

Overall, I’m just really happy to be getting back my relationship with God.

One thing I can improve is to take time to observe the sunrises and sunsets, rather than treat it as a 3 minute objective to take a photo and post it here. I will definitely try to take more time and focus on observing the incredible beauty of our Creator.

Posted in 2020 Reflections

Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you

Posted on by Rachel

One of the questions from the Goodbye Hello journal is; what was your happiest moments?

I have to stop and think.

And shouldn’t that be the case? Shouldn’t I remember right away what they were? Has my mind been so clouded with sorrow that I forgot?

I can’t remember.

When was I truly happiest this 2020? Nothing even comes to mind. Sure, I’ve had happy moments but I can’t remember one where my heart swelled and soared or my belly ached with laughter.

Maybe I just forgot or I didn’t have one.

Taylor Swift’s song, New Year’s Eve, has a line which says,

Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you.

Next time, I have the happiest moment of my life, I’ll hope to remind myself to hold on to it. So I won’t forget.

Sometimes, I have the happiest moment ever, but then I remember that I have to go home and that this will be all over. What happens is the memory is replaced with fear and worry that I have to get home on time.

Maybe that’s why. Maybe I don’t have happy memories because they are always layered with fear.

Happy memories are like treasures in a box.

Mine just happens to be empty for now, but not for long.

Posted in Lessons Learned

Love Right

Posted on by Rachel

Last night I was reading a heart-warming novel entitled, “Looking for Salvation at the Dairy Queen”, and this passage stuck with me.

The protagonist’s best friend, Lolly, has struggled with emotional abuse from her mother, Mrs. Dempsey but for her eighteenth birthday, she was given a beautiful vase from her mother. The protagonist reflects upon this.

Turns out, Mrs. Dempsey does love Lolly. I mean, she sure doesn’t love her right, but in some small or strange way, that woman sitting on that faded old sofa loves her daughter enough to save what little money she has to buy
her something as beautiful as that crystal vase.


Daddy said you can see the devil in people’s eyes, but maybe the devil is nothing more than the sadness they carry around inside of them, bottled up so tight that it comes out as pure ugliness, like it does with Mrs. Dempsey. And maybe my own mama was too filled with sadness to love Martha Ann and me right. Maybe she wanted to be up on some stage so badly that she couldn’t figure out a way to make herself happy without it. And maybe that’s the way it is sometimes, that there are some mamas so filled with sorrow that it’s better that they leave the mothering to somebody else. I needed to see my mama’s eyes.

That helped me to offer sympathy to those people close to my heart that I wish could love me right.

I realized that just because they don’t love like I do, doesn’t mean they don’t have an ounce of love for me.

Maybe they have too much sorrow in their hearts, and so they don’t know how to love right.

But I’ll take whatever crumbs of love I receive, knowing it’s given with sincerity and a broken heart.

Posted in Childhood Tales

Someday, just like the old times

Posted on by Rachel

Soil, leaves, flowers these were all useful ingredients for my cooking session with my playmate, Mia. As little children, we had a blast pretending we had a carinderia.

Carinderia in the Philippines, is an eatery that serves home-cooked meals.

We loved to use our imagination as we prepared meals. In between cooking sessions we would talk about life and our future. It was everyday, from early in the morning until the sunset. And yet it felt like it was never enough.

If our parents would allow, Mia and I would spend a few hours watching Totally Spies or Kim Possible on TV before supper.

At night, we’d stand by our windows at home and call out to each other to talk while the cricket sung and the moon shone brightly.

Other games we played were piko, tumba patis and lagsanay. We also played with dolls.

It was nice to think that back then, children chose to play outside rather than spend the day watching TV or glued to a mobile device.

When we had nothing else to do, we’d sit on the sofa and just talk our hearts out.

After a few years, we grew up, got busy in school and seemed to forget about each other.

Mia only stayed at our neighbor’s house during the summer and as the seasons went by, she stopped coming.

It didn’t mean much to me, to be honest. I had new friends at school. But there were times I wished that when I went home, she would be there waiting by the doorstep ready to talk and have fun ’til our little worries disappeared.

Maybe it was me getting caught up in schoolworks and wanting to be at the top of my class that led me to I think it wasn’t important to have friends as long as I had good grades. I wish someone told me how wrong I was.

At a young age, I ruined a lot of friendships because of my need to be at the top of my class. It was all I ever cared about. I wanted approval, praise and honor like my whole life depended on it. It feels sickening to think about it now.

Presently, I don’t have much friends. In my high school times, I did not even know how to make friends. I only knew how to study and make a safe reputation.

Which is why when Mia moved to my University, (I was a highschooler, and she was in her first year of college), there was little to no effort in my part to keep the friendship alive. (Even though we spent years together at the same Uni when I entered college.) On the other hand, she was always bursting with excitement whenever we ran into each other.

I am grateful for her cheerful and kind spirit because according to her, “nothing has changed between us.“ Our friendship is still the same. But is it?

Maybe in some ways it is. We still laugh the same and treat each other just like the old times.

Deep down, I know I have changed. I don’t feel free as I did before. Being with her and with others makes me stiff and vigilant of my surroundings. A loud laugh or a raised voice because of glee makes my heart stop and worry, ‘Oh my gosh! What will people think?!’

I don’t know how to have fun anymore. The hardships of growing up bursted the bubble of my vivid imagination.

My sensitive nature prompted me to retreat, causing my self discomfort to be around people, even with my childhood friend.

I used to be someone who loved to laugh and craved adventure. Mia retained her spirit of carefree confidence and I didn’t.

Maybe I was never confident to begin with, but I can’t remember being this uptight and uncomfortable with myself.

As a child, I knew I was crazy – mostly happy, sometimes scared. But I always felt free and open to do anything even when it scared the hell out of me.

I became so focused in school and forgot what play looked life. What life felt like– the one with no worries of competition rather all focused on blooming with grace despite the rain that may shower the day.

My eyes started to open during my last years in college. It was when the overflow of regrets came to wash over me like a tsunami. I drowned down into the depths.

By God’s grace, slowly so subtly, I am healing and discovering that I can change once again, but this time for the better.

To Mia, you might never read this, but I’d want to say both thank you and I’m sorry.

When I’m ready, I hope we can build our friendship once again. This time, we won’t have to play pretend because we can run free and do anything we want without a care in the world.

Love,

Rachel

Posted in Challenge, The Artist's Way

Week 3: Recovering a Sense of Power

Posted on by Rachel

Objective :

 (1) Deal wit unaccustomed bursts of energy and sharp peaks of anger, joy and grief.

(2) Consciously experiment with spiritual open-mindedness.

Favorite quotes:

Since you are like no other being ever created since the beginning of time, you are incomparable.

Brenda Ueland

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost.

Martha Graham

Verses of the week:

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

James 4 : 8

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you

Matthew 7 : 7

Lessons Learned:

Anger is not an enemy.

I really dislike anger as an emotion because it is unpleasant. But this week, I have learned a very crucial fact. Anger is our friend. It is meant to be listened to because it serves as a guide on what is wrong. It reveals our boundaries. We should use anger as a redirection to the core issue. It’s not to be acted out but acted upon.

Always have a prepared mind. Watch out for God.

We pray that we could hear God or that He’d answer our prayers. But how often do we do this then go out in our day without even thinking of Him for a second. It’s important to be prepared or to be aware that God is working in every moment.

Don’t tell yourself it doesn’t matter.

When events occur or words are uttered and our feelings are hurt, it may be our first instinct to protect ourselves by either denying our sorrow or pretending everything is okay. This week, I have learned to acknowledge my emotions and honor what I am going through. Instead of telling myself it doesn’t matter, I say, “You will heal.“

How to identify constructive criticism.

Constructive criticism is like a missing piece to your puzzle. It gives you an “Aha!” moment. You learn something from it.

Reflection

This week is more focused on dealing with emotions such as anger and shame. It also tackled topics such as growth and “synchronicity” which I have never heard before. To me, power is being able to handle your emotions and use them in the correct manner. Power is not found in having a stone heart but in having a heart that can feel. It’s experiencing a whirlwind of emotions such as anger, shame, grief, joy, rejection, emptiness, etc. and yet believing that you will heal. That all of these experiences will only bring good to your creativity. It will give you a story to tell through your art in whatever form that may be.

If you want to learn more and experience your creativity, you can buy the book on Amazon.