Posted in Writing Challenge

January 1: Unopened

Posted on by Rachel

Curiosity is sparked when something is closed, locked, turned away, unavailable.

Questions of, “What is it? What if?” flood your mind ’til the curiosity peeks at the highest level and your thoughts are consumed.

On the other side of the spectrum, closed off people are usually met with either intrigue or annoyance.

Intrigue, for those who love a mystery. Annoyance, for those who want to know it all.

Unopened.

Like the jar of a blueberry jam sold at a grocery shop.

Your Dad’s old treasure box with the padlock hanging on.

A coffin.

A heart.

A book that has sat on the shelf for a long time.

A restaurant at 12 midnight.

Some things you shut with a purpose, others get broken and have no choice but to close.

When you force yourself through, the strikes of resistance will slap you in the face.

It’s harder to let things be especially with closed things and people.

But maybe that’s what we need the most, to trust that what’s inside the unopened will find its way out when the right time comes.

Posted in Personal Stories

Convenience, we meet again

Posted on by Rachel

Once again, I find myself in a convenience store, but this time with hope in my heart.

One day, I will be free from the environment that is clouding my heart.

When you take a leap of faith and swallow your fear whole, courage comes out of your bones and turns into wings strong enough to carry you through the stormy clouds.

I am quitting my job.

I am leaving behind the “promise” of security and going after my dreams.

As I sit here I don’t feel like the tears will spill over. Rather, I can’t help but feel joy inside of me.


When the lady asked if I wanted a cup to go with my drink, I had the strength to say yes with a smile.

This time I am sure of what I want.

God is good even in the pain.
He is good in the joy too.

In contrast to the gloomy weather before, it’s bright and sunny today.

It’s like the sky is smiling down and saying, “Thank you for choosing LIFE.”

Posted in Lessons Learned, Personal Stories

A Shaky Voice and a Brave Heart

Posted on by Rachel

Recently, I was chosen to be the speaker for our Sabbath school segment. The opportunity excited me because I had a lot to share!

I decided to create an outline for my talk instead of writing everything down. I practiced, and practiced until I had confidence to enter the church on Saturday.

I wasn’t afraid.

However, when it was my turn. My hands turned cold and my voice began to quiver.

I delivered my speech with…. a shaky voice. Definitely not what I was expecting. While I was up there, the temptation to cut everything short and just sit down, was strong.

But with God’s grace, I managed to persevere and finish it completely.

A shaky voice and a brave heart.

One might say they don’t match. They can’t.

I am hesitant to call myself brave as I don’t think I fit the criteria.

But God is my courage.

He is the brave one and He lives inside of my heart.

My flesh is weak but my spirit is willing.

The flashbacks of the moment makes me cringe yet I feel fulfilled for pushing through even if I was afraid.

One brave step at a time can go a long way.

Will you choose to be brave today even if your voice quivers?

Posted in Rachel's Journal 🌼

Mourning into Dancing

Posted on by Rachel

Isn’t it strange how yesterday I felt my world was ending and now my heart is filled with so much hope?

Surprisingly, when I opened my Scripture writing plan this morning, it fell on Psalm 30:11-12 which says,

You have turned my mourning into dancing, you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever.

Some days it takes longer to feel better in this roller coaster ride. Thank God I didn’t stay in the downside for a long time. I am not sure how long this state of happiness is going to last, but I will trust that God is always there.

Posted in Rachel's Journal 🌼

There’s always something…

Posted on by Rachel

As I wait for the bus to arrive, I am usually met with smoke and heat coming from different vehicles.

I’d gloom around and feel irritated.

Until I look at the sky and catch my breath.

God is here.

God is here. In the dark, in the mundane ordinary life, while I’m doing the most irrelevant thing. He is there, watching and waiting to be noticed, acknowledged, praised, remembered.

Hello, Lord.

I smile. I sigh.

When will I put God first?

As the bus draws near, I say goodbye to the sky and whisper a prayer of thanks to Yahweh.

There’s always something good in everyday. I hope I don’t miss out on it.

Posted in Personal Stories

Convenience in Less than 20 minutes

Posted on by Rachel

It’s approximately less than 20 minutes til work yet I’m here at a convenience store nearby, trying not to care.

I don’t want to go to work.

I wish quitting work is as easy as 1, 2, 3, where you don’t have to talk about it, or write a letter or make a goodbye party.

I bought a hot chocolate because my head is killing me. I was planning to drink it at work.

The cashier asked me, “Do you want to add a cup?”

I replied, “No.”

She proceeded to give me a cup.

Gratefully, I smiled inside. I wanted one yet I didn’t have the energy to say yes.

As I took the first sip of my hot choco, I realized there’s so much to be grateful for.

Outside, the sky is gloomy like my heart. It’s cool and gives hope that maybe, today can wait. Maybe we cna just slow down and not work but just relax and enjoy life.

I don’t know if it’s the depression? But I am in a place where I just long to be free and not feel suffocated inside a cubicle that limits your heart from jumping out.

It’s less than 15 minutes to work, and I wonder how I am going to get through the day…

Posted in Random Thoughts

Just Relax…

Posted on by Rachel

As I sit in front of my computer after a long day at work, I am torn between writing and relaxing. My head hurts and it feels like my eyes are gonna fall off. I need to rest. Why is it so hard to do that?

Our culture continues to promote the idea of productivity, but what about rest?

We are not missing out when we take time to be still and rest.

I end with this passage…

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.  She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.

Luke 10:38-42
Posted in Random Thoughts

Why my poor eyesight is a blessing

Posted on by Rachel

I’ve always loved connecting with people, listening to them and looking them in the eye.

It’s been said that, “The eyes are the windows to the soul.” I believe this to be true.

If you truly stare at someone’s eyes, you will see how they feel about you. Is it judgment, kindness, love? You will know.

I usually look people in the eye without hesitation, but now I can’t do that very much because I can’t see clearly without my glasses.

And it’s been a tremendous blessing. Why, you might ask.

It’s because when I’m walking at the streets or inside the mall, what used to be a sea of eyes are now only a blurry image.

I can’t see when people look at me.

I can’t see their eyes.

I don’t have to worry because I won’t know when someone’s looking at me with disgust (unless they come very close).

I think you should know that I like to look at people but I don’t want to be seen.

If I could, I would waste my days away by hiding.

I wish I could be invisible then I wouldn’t have to be shy. I won’t have to worry about how I look or if my clothes are okay, if I’m acceptable, if I’m enough.

Being nearsighted has its perks.

I enjoy my days more often because I wouldn’t notice if I am seen.

My self-esteem has been dropping low every minute and I wonder what I can do about it.

Posted in Random Thoughts

Rollercoaster ride.

Posted on by Rachel

45 minutes, hope flows out of me like honey from the honeycomb.

An hour, my heart is pierced with bullets and I bleed out the hope within.

30 minutes, I’m as happy as a bee.

2 minutes, I’m confused.

12 minutes, I clean the whole house.

5 minutes, I’m breathless and tired as I lay in bed.

In a minute I wonder, what’s the next emotion in 5 4 3 2 1…

Posted in Lessons Learned, Personal Stories

How do you ruin a good day?

Posted on by Rachel

Tell someone about it.

Or I guess I should say, tell the wrong person about it.

When we experience the overflow of blessings and good things in our lives, we feel giddy with joy and excitement! We can’t help but tell someone about it, because the happiness might just burst if kept inside of our hearts.

However, what happens when the good news comes out of our mouths?

Oftentimes we are met with hidden jealousy, disbelief, or smacked by comments of displeasure, criticism, sarcasm, the list goes on…

The clouds come rushing over covering the sunshine.

Self-doubt comes like a downpour of rain, til we are soaked in despair.

I wish I didn’t tell anyone.

I’ve always resonated with this quote:

Travel and tell no one, live a true lovestory and tell no one, live happily and tell no one, people ruin beautiful things.

Kahlil Gibran

As I’m growing older, I’m living out its meaning.

Moments are made more precious when we keep it between us and God.

People ruin beautiful things.

But they don’t mean to.

A Biblical example that comes to mind is Judas the Iscariot during the time when Mary poured out her offering upon Jesus’ feet.

It was a precious moment for Mary and Jesus but Judas almost ruined it. Thanks to our Savior’s loving remarks, the scenario was emphasized as Mary doing the right thing and it became one of the most popular stories in the world.

I like keeping a prayer journal because it’s where most of my good memories are stored. Some memories only Jesus and I know.

Today, I told someone very important to me about my day and how happy I was, yet I was met with a sarcastic and mean comment.

The clouds are starting to form and cover the sunshine of my day. Self-doubts are all over my mind. Right now, I am waiting for my Savior to save the day.

I forgot to keep things to myself and now I’m in pain. And so I repeat these wise words to myself:

“… live happily and tell no one, people ruin beautiful things”