Day: January 30, 2021

Posted in deconstruction

I just have to sit through this

Posted on by Rachel

I used to think I was right about everything related to faith and belief.

My parents said so.

My church said so.

But now, I don’t think so.

Everything I hear that is related to the Bible or Christianity, I now take it with a grain of salt. It’s like I have developed this wall of protection around me. I don’t want to be led blindly anymore.

My sister in law now lives at our house and she joins our Bible reading during Saturdays. I’ve noticed that my Dad is beginning to teach her everything he knows just the way he used to teach us at first.

And now it’s like I get to listen to it once again but not from a vulnerable girl’s point of view, but from a perspective of a woman who has been lied to, throughout the years.

It’s hard to admit that I don’t take everything he says as truth anymore. Sometimes what he teaches makes makes sense, but other times I see it for what it is: a blind faith. A plot to make you feel guilty for believing otherwise. A plan to unconsciously hurt you in the long run.

I find it unbearable to sit through those Bible discussions because it reminds me of all the things I’ve missed out on and the trauma that this false religion has given me.

I try to shut down several times and build a wall so high that everything I hear, I now deflect. I do admit sometimes it sounds stupid. Everything just sounds weird and stupid. I don’t want to be forced to believe in a lie anymore.

Maybe it will get easier someday but for now I just have to sit through every Saturday afternoon’s fiasco.

Posted in Earth Psalms Reflection

Week Three: Variety in Creation

Posted on by Rachel

This week is all about observing and appreciating the differences of the people around you.

I learned that there are 7,500 kinds of apples in the world! I never knew that before. I have only tasted the Red Delicious and Fuji. After reading the chapter, I looked inside the fridge for an apple and ate it with delight while contemplating about the different kinds.

Throughout the week, I also thought about my family and friends. I pondered upon their different characteristics and was even amused to remember their good and bad traits, as well as their quirks and habits.

It blew my mind just thinking about how no one is exactly alike in every single way. If I deeply ingrain that fact in my mind, it makes me respect God more. I also gain a sense of appreciation for myself because I am the one and only in this whole wide world!

In what ways do you think our culture encourages sameness?

In terms of beauty, body and personality, the media and society itself have set the standard of what is deemed as “acceptable” and “beautiful.” We see billboards that promote the same body type and sends a message of what we should all strive to look like.

It wasn’t until last year, that I learned there are different body types such as the apple shape, pear shape, inverted triangle and many more! This made me realize that I shouldn’t try to look like someone else but rather to appreciate my own features and body. We are all different in varied ways.

There’s also different personality types. You can learn more about your personality by taking the Myers-Briggs Personality Test Online.

And even with these categorizations of body types, personality, hair, facial features, and whatnots, there’s still a huge amount of uniqueness that each one possesses.

How does variety in appearance, attitudes, talents and personality reflect God’s character?

We find a little bit of God in ourselves and in every person that we meet. I think that’s amazing.

I’ve been watching the reality show, Pinoy Big Brother, wherein several people with different backgrounds, age and personalities all live in one house while undergoing a series of tasks. It’s been a fun show and it made me realize the variety of characteristics in each one of them. Their stories and personalities also make them unique.

There is so much variety not just in people, but also in nature and I am filled with gratitude that God made it that way.