Month: November 2019

Posted in Rachel's Journal 🌼

There’s always something…

Posted on by Rachel

As I wait for the bus to arrive, I am usually met with smoke and heat coming from different vehicles.

I’d gloom around and feel irritated.

Until I look at the sky and catch my breath.

God is here.

God is here. In the dark, in the mundane ordinary life, while I’m doing the most irrelevant thing. He is there, watching and waiting to be noticed, acknowledged, praised, remembered.

Hello, Lord.

I smile. I sigh.

When will I put God first?

As the bus draws near, I say goodbye to the sky and whisper a prayer of thanks to Yahweh.

There’s always something good in everyday. I hope I don’t miss out on it.

Posted in Personal Stories

Convenience in Less than 20 minutes

Posted on by Rachel

It’s approximately less than 20 minutes til work yet I’m here at a convenience store nearby, trying not to care.

I don’t want to go to work.

I wish quitting work is as easy as 1, 2, 3, where you don’t have to talk about it, or write a letter or make a goodbye party.

I bought a hot chocolate because my head is killing me. I was planning to drink it at work.

The cashier asked me, “Do you want to add a cup?”

I replied, “No.”

She proceeded to give me a cup.

Gratefully, I smiled inside. I wanted one yet I didn’t have the energy to say yes.

As I took the first sip of my hot choco, I realized there’s so much to be grateful for.

Outside, the sky is gloomy like my heart. It’s cool and gives hope that maybe, today can wait. Maybe we cna just slow down and not work but just relax and enjoy life.

I don’t know if it’s the depression? But I am in a place where I just long to be free and not feel suffocated inside a cubicle that limits your heart from jumping out.

It’s less than 15 minutes to work, and I wonder how I am going to get through the day…

Posted in Random Thoughts

Just Relax…

Posted on by Rachel

As I sit in front of my computer after a long day at work, I am torn between writing and relaxing. My head hurts and it feels like my eyes are gonna fall off. I need to rest. Why is it so hard to do that?

Our culture continues to promote the idea of productivity, but what about rest?

We are not missing out when we take time to be still and rest.

I end with this passage…

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.  She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.

Luke 10:38-42
Posted in Random Thoughts

Why my poor eyesight is a blessing

Posted on by Rachel

I’ve always loved connecting with people, listening to them and looking them in the eye.

It’s been said that, “The eyes are the windows to the soul.” I believe this to be true.

If you truly stare at someone’s eyes, you will see how they feel about you. Is it judgment, kindness, love? You will know.

I usually look people in the eye without hesitation, but now I can’t do that very much because I can’t see clearly without my glasses.

And it’s been a tremendous blessing. Why, you might ask.

It’s because when I’m walking at the streets or inside the mall, what used to be a sea of eyes are now only a blurry image.

I can’t see when people look at me.

I can’t see their eyes.

I don’t have to worry because I won’t know when someone’s looking at me with disgust (unless they come very close).

I think you should know that I like to look at people but I don’t want to be seen.

If I could, I would waste my days away by hiding.

I wish I could be invisible then I wouldn’t have to be shy. I won’t have to worry about how I look or if my clothes are okay, if I’m acceptable, if I’m enough.

Being nearsighted has its perks.

I enjoy my days more often because I wouldn’t notice if I am seen.

My self-esteem has been dropping low every minute and I wonder what I can do about it.

Posted in Random Thoughts

Rollercoaster ride.

Posted on by Rachel

45 minutes, hope flows out of me like honey from the honeycomb.

An hour, my heart is pierced with bullets and I bleed out the hope within.

30 minutes, I’m as happy as a bee.

2 minutes, I’m confused.

12 minutes, I clean the whole house.

5 minutes, I’m breathless and tired as I lay in bed.

In a minute I wonder, what’s the next emotion in 5 4 3 2 1…

Posted in Lessons Learned, Personal Stories

How do you ruin a good day?

Posted on by Rachel

Tell someone about it.

Or I guess I should say, tell the wrong person about it.

When we experience the overflow of blessings and good things in our lives, we feel giddy with joy and excitement! We can’t help but tell someone about it, because the happiness might just burst if kept inside of our hearts.

However, what happens when the good news comes out of our mouths?

Oftentimes we are met with hidden jealousy, disbelief, or smacked by comments of displeasure, criticism, sarcasm, the list goes on…

The clouds come rushing over covering the sunshine.

Self-doubt comes like a downpour of rain, til we are soaked in despair.

I wish I didn’t tell anyone.

I’ve always resonated with this quote:

Travel and tell no one, live a true lovestory and tell no one, live happily and tell no one, people ruin beautiful things.

Kahlil Gibran

As I’m growing older, I’m living out its meaning.

Moments are made more precious when we keep it between us and God.

People ruin beautiful things.

But they don’t mean to.

A Biblical example that comes to mind is Judas the Iscariot during the time when Mary poured out her offering upon Jesus’ feet.

It was a precious moment for Mary and Jesus but Judas almost ruined it. Thanks to our Savior’s loving remarks, the scenario was emphasized as Mary doing the right thing and it became one of the most popular stories in the world.

I like keeping a prayer journal because it’s where most of my good memories are stored. Some memories only Jesus and I know.

Today, I told someone very important to me about my day and how happy I was, yet I was met with a sarcastic and mean comment.

The clouds are starting to form and cover the sunshine of my day. Self-doubts are all over my mind. Right now, I am waiting for my Savior to save the day.

I forgot to keep things to myself and now I’m in pain. And so I repeat these wise words to myself:

“… live happily and tell no one, people ruin beautiful things”

Posted in Random Thoughts

Sleeping At Last

Posted on by Rachel

When I can’t fall asleep, I think about the things I could do.

What can I do to serve God? To make a difference in this world?

My dream has always been to make an impact on someone or on society as a whole. I want to be a beacon of God’s light and to make a difference.

To make a difference. To make a difference…

The moment my thoughts ramble one after the other and they consume the corners of my brain, I think about the future too.

The future says I might end up alone in this world with no one to love me. The future says I will waste my days being insecure. The future says my dreams will never come true.

Never, never, never…

As this string of rumination begins to pull each other into a big pile of ball rolling down my brain and dropping into my heart, I begin to fear.

My soul feels like it’s gnawing in pain and anguish. Loneliness is such a heavy word to even utter. A heavy state to be in.

I close my eyes and force myself to sleep.

I let the name of Jesus roll around my tongue. I pray for peace that passes understanding. I pray for His arms to wrap me up in love and remind me that I’m not alone.

I pray and pray and pray until I fall asleep in bliss, with the assurance that Jesus loves me tonight and forevermore…

My brain becomes silent and void. In the dark and quiet room the corners of my heart form into a smile. Her cold voice whispers, “She’s sleeping, at last…”

Posted in Iloilo, Personal Stories

Daily Obstacle: Crossing the Street

Posted on by Rachel

In order to get to work I have to pass by a pedestrian lane (that doesn’t seem like one because the vehicles drive so fast you might think there’s a car racing going on!)

Crossing the streets in Iloilo City can sometimes be a struggle. Especially for a softie like me. Haha

Sometimes I’m as bold as a lion other times I freeze on the spot and wait for the vehicles to disappear, which usually takes around 5 minutes.

I always wonder if I can survive the situation.

I have just survived the chaos and safely arrived at work. An hour early before my shift.

Before crossing the street, I was able to join two men and a little boy. I consider this to always be a blessing because I don’t have to worry I just have to follow their lead.

As we waited for the perfect moment to arrive, the little boy clutching his dad’s hand looked up at me and grinned, all teeth and full of joy like he was having the best time of his life.

I wanted to laugh but I smiled instead.

Sweet innocent boy. I hope he never loses his joy when he grows up and has to cross the street. May gladness overpower fear when he takes that first step against the never ending vehicles. I pray that he will always be excited to see his dad and view life through a colored lens.

Having secured ourselves on the other side of the road, I looked back to see him still smiling at me while his dad fixed his slippers.

“Thank you. You helped me find joy and courage in the simple things.”

I wanted to tell him that but he may not understand.

Sitting here on my desk made me reminisce about my pedestrian adventures.

Other memories I have:

  • I crossed the street with a dog.
  • I helped an elderly navigate through the traffic.
  • A traffic enforcer came to the rescue and helped me cross the street.
  • I joined other pedestrians and crossed the street safely.
  • My classmate and I got trapped in the middle of a busy road and a kind man driving a big car let us pass by.

Life is full of lessons and memories around. What seems like an obstacle can also be a fun part of the day.

After writing this, I searched the Web for a similar topic and came across this fun article: 12 Life Lessons You Can Learn From Crossing the Street in Vietnam.

Stay safe,

Rachel

Posted in Rachel's Journal 🌼

And You Will Know the Truth

Posted on by Rachel

I don’t like telling the truth when I know it’s going to hurt someone. There are times when I prefer to sugarcoat in order to present it like a gift instead of a knife.

However, we all know this isn’t always a good thing to do. It’s unhealthy for us and for others. People need to grow up and know the truth about themselves and their actions.

Do we really need to say the truth to someone all the time? I believe there’s a right time for everything.

When it comes to Biblical matters, I must admit occasions have occurred when I hesitated to tell the Truth because of fear that I might hurt other people’s feelings. I have realized my mistake because Scripture is for convicting.

May I always speak the Words of God with power and grace.

We observe in the life of Jesus that He spoke the Word with courage and conviction because He knew that though others may be offended, it was what they needed to change.

Sometimes, it’s not what you say but how you say it. We can always choose to speak truth with care, sincerity and most of all, love.

“Let you conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so you may know how to answer everyone.”

Colossians 4:6

“And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.

John 8: 32

Do you want to live an honest life? Check out this post to learn more about honesty and tips to quit the lying habit.

Posted in Lessons Learned

Lessons from Grandpas

Posted on by Rachel

I never met my grandfather. He died when my dad was only 7 years old. I also did not have much of an interaction with my Lolo because I was too young to care during that time. Sadly, he passed away when I was only 4 years old.

Sadness encircles me whenever I remember that I did not have the chance to know them personally. However, I have hope safely tucked in my heart that we will meet in Heaven someday.

Lessons Learned

Their character, quirks and habits have been passed down in an enchanting way.

I learned to eat vanilla ice cream with corn flakes and chocolate syrup, from my Grandpa. (It was his favorite.) He was also an accountant and worked as a hospital administrator. Currently, I am working at an accounting office of a hospital. I’d like to think there is some connection in that.

I don’t know much about him and I only have one distinct picture of my Grandpa imprinted on my mind. I can imagine that he was a hardworking and kind man.

I learned the importance of reading my Bible from my Lolo. Mama would sometimes recall his words of wisdom and share them to me. A hand-me-down lesson from Lolo to Mama to me is: “If you don’t know what a word means, don’t ask other people. Consult your dictionary.”

I still have the books my Lolo Manuel used to read. While I was reading the books, I noticed that he had a habit of putting check marks on top of the pages he had already finished reading.

My love for reading and books definitely came from him. (Aside from my Dad)

My Lolo worked hard to provide for his family. He gave his children a good life despite the hardships. And tried his best to provide the same for his grandchildren.

He did not have enough money to give as an inheritance to his family, but I hope he knew that his diligence, love, patience, and kindness were more than enough to be considered precious gems that his family inherited.

I’d like to end this post with a verse from Exodus 20:5-6:

You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.

Who you are today; your faith, your character, your habits, your decisions, etc. will be passed down to the thousands of generations of your family whether you like it or not. That’s something to think about. 😉

Notes:

Grandpa – Dad’s side

Lolo – Mom’s side (Filipino word for grandpa)